Is it just me, or does it feel like there is a higher concentration of douchebags in a workout environment than anywhere else; at least in real world day to day life.  It kind of makes sense, after all, people tend to get into cramped quarters, get all sweaty, energized, and to some extent, completely self-involved.  Social norms such as politeness or even basic etiquette tend to get thrown out the window.  Maybe it’s the elevated levels of testosterone, or hey, maybe it’s just the fact that some people are complete douchebags.

Allow me to provide a few examples:

• Many years ago, I made the mistake of joining this pretty fancy gym, the New York Health and Racquet Club, only because I qualified for a discount.  I clearly did NOT fit in.  The youngest members at the time were probably in their mid-30s, and I probably looked like some punk kid.  Anyway, one day, some older, overweight, woman was in the stretching area, alone.  A few feet away from her was a plastic bag in which she carried her walkman (yes, it was that long ago), and some of her other crap.  I walked over to the area, near her bag, and she snapped at me, “Don’t step on it!”  First of all, I was aware the bag was there and wasn’t going to step on it. Second, I snapped back that she shouldn’t leave important things in the middle of the floor.  She proceeded to get up and go tell on me.  Some trainer came up to me and asked me if I worked there.  I guess that was my reprimand. 

• Since that incident, I have been a member of Crunch, a gym that fits me infinitely better.  Of course, though, there are going to be douchebags there. Oddly, now that I think about any incidents I have had there, none have happened at my main location.  Ok, maybe just one, and that was at the first spin class I had ever taken, a very packed and popular Friday night ride with Nadia Z, again, way back in the day.  I guess I had gotten my number wrong when I signed in for a bike, but some guy completely freaked when he thought I was on his bike.  This is actually something that does happen frequently, people not signing up or signing up for the wrong bike.  Anyway, he freaked out, but it made me realize, people really take this shit seriously. I’ll share douchebag blame for that one.

• More recently, I had gone mid-day to a different downtown location.  I walk to the back of the locker room looking for a big locker, none there.  Walk to the front, and see a big locker, empty, open.  A few feet away, on the bench was some guy on his Blackberry.  I put some stuff in the locker, am about to change, and he says, “Wait, I was using that locker.”  I looked at him, confused, and said, “No you weren’t.”  He stuttered that he was going to use the locker and he was fiddling with his gadget.  I should have told him to f*** off right then, but I am way too nice and laid back, and kind of said, “Oooooo-kay;” I wasn’t going to throw down for a locker.  I quickly glanced for another locker to take, and there happened to be one a few feet down, right in front of him.  I opened it, and said, “Hey, this locker is closer to you, why don’t you take this one.”  He then looked at me, gave me attitude like, “whatever, I really don’t care about what locker I take.”  Douchebag.

• Last week, at yet another downtown location I sometimes go to, there were two benches for bench pressing.  One had plates on it and a towel on the bar, the other was empty.  So, I hit the empty one, and load up some plates.  All of a sudden, out of nowhere, some woman runs up and starts waving her hands and berating me in her thick accent, most of which I didn’t hear because I didn’t bother to take my ear buds out when she came over.  She insisted that we needed to share because the other bench was taken; ok, I have no problem with sharing.  This woman, who, by the way, looked like she would cut me, then said she had two more sets.  I said, you know what, why don’t you finish them (to save time from unloading-reloading plates as we worked in together).  I went to do something else, and then her friend came over and they did this elaborate like 8 exercise circuit, thereby leaving the bench open a good amount of time.  I had already started doing something else, but gave her this incredulous stare down.  Lady who would cut me then went to the other bench, cleared off the towel and weights, and sort of half-assedly offered it to me.  I guess she tried but she was still a douchebag, who could cut me.

• Then, there was the douchebag who yelled at me while I was riding my bicycle the other day.  I hear this bellowing, “Don’t wear a helmet, put your life at risk.”  Over and over.  After two times, I realized that I was the only person cycling on that street, and it was directed at me. Okay, I take responsibility, I wasn’t wearing a helmet and should have been, but still, that was kind of obnoxious.  I passed another 7 cyclists on my way home, which is very close to where I was riding, and nobody had on a helmet. 

• Speaking of cyclists, they can be hyped up obnoxious douchebags themselves, especially when it comes to sharing paths with runners.  I was running with my friend, let’s call her Ariel, on Saturday afternoon along the West Side Highway in New York.  There has been construction going on and all the way down towards Chambers Street, the biking/rollerblading/walking/running path is merged into one.  As we were jogging, some cyclist rode by and turned around and started yelling at us.  I thought he was yelling something to her (Which is par for the course with her…just before I had found her, some rollerblader was asking her if she was a professional runner.  I chased him away), but she said, no, he was definitely screaming at us.  It made sense…I bet CraigsList’s Missed Connections will soon be teeming with runners and bikers ranting at each other over their near misses in Central Park.  Anyway, that cyclist was a douchebag.

I’m sure I could go on and on with more examples, but I’ll leave it be for now.  I would love to hear about other people’s workout related douchebag incidents.  Oh yeah, and check out this guy.  Douchebag.