Other than with a significant other, very few relationships involve being tested, pushed to the limit and challenged to within an inch of your life while wearing skimpy sweats. No, we're not talking about a fight followed by makeup sex, we mean your relationship with a personal trainer.

Think of a potential trainer as someone you'd bring home to meet Mom; your relationship with a personal trainer should be friendly, but professional, and when choosing a personal trainer avoid anyone who intimidates you or doesn't challenge you enough. Other things to avoid include getting too close with your trainer, or turning him or her into your shrink. Your trainer is there to improve your body, not be your therapist.

Personality plays a role. You will have regular "dates" with your trainer, so it helps if you get along. If you don't have a good rapport with your trainer, don't be afraid to "break up" and find someone else. You are spending your time and money, after all. Although trainers' techniques and philosophies differ, there are universal signs that indicate this one's a keeper.

• Listening to you. If you say an exercise doesn't feel right, a good trainer will hear you and determine why, give you an alternate exercise or help you adjust the exercise. There isn't one magic bullet exercise for any fitness goal and a good trainer will know many ways to work the same parts of the body.
• Understanding your goals. A trainer's job is to help you reach your goals -- not the trainer's goals -- and a first session should include an overall fitness evaluation to design a balanced, effective and realistic program.
• Teaching you. A good trainer will explain which exercises you are doing and why. This way you'll be able to continue your workouts, even without those one-on-one sessions. If you don't understand how a certain exercise will improve your fitness, you are less likely to do it.
• Critiquing you. A good trainer will watch and evaluate your form throughout workouts. Remember, critiques aren't personal. By maintaining the correct form you will get the maximum benefit and reduce your risk of injury.

There are many ways to find a personal trainer once you've decided to hire one. Start by asking your athletic friends about their personal trainers, or about trainer sessions at your gym. You can also check online for personal trainer listings in your area and look for feedback posted on message boards. Here's what to keep an eye out for:

• When you peruse personal trainer listings, read the credentials. An undergraduate degree in exercise science isn't necessary to be an excellent personal trainer, but a college degree in a health or fitness-related subject is a plus.
• Certification from an accredited program is key. Although a certification alone doesn't guarantee a great trainer, a reputable certification process involves several months of study and classes followed by an exam. This process is meant to protect the public by weeding out unqualified trainers.
• Some physical therapists and even registered nurses are becoming certified as trainers. Not only do they have added insight into the workings of your muscles, but you may be able to get some reimbursement from your health insurance provider if a doctor recommends sessions with a physical therapist for injury treatment or post-surgery rehab.

If you are a fitness professional, being listed on an online directory is a great way to get your name out there and make yourself known to potential clients. Be sure that your listing provides your current contact information and includes all degrees, certifications and special areas of expertise. For example, if you know how to train someone for competitive cycling or kickboxing, say so. Also, if you are a personal trainer being listed, remember: client testimonials go a long way.

New York offers some of most diverse and creative personal trainers and gyms in the county. Can't get to a gym in New York? Personal trainers will come to your home or hotel. Check out directories of New York personal trainers and gyms, and you'll find fitness professionals who can design a short-term or long-term fitness program that best suits your needs--no matter how long you're in town.

The same rules apply with New York personal trainers and gyms as anywhere else. Use common sense and good manners. You already know the subtle rules at your home gym, so keep these basics of gym etiquette in mind and you'll get along with the locals in NYC, too.

Wipe your sweat. Be sure to use a clean towel or disposable towel and cleaning spray to wipe the seats of machines and weight benches before and after you use them. No one likes to sit in someone else's sweat.

Watch the clock. Even if a time limit isn't posted, keep your workout on the bike, stair climber, or elliptical trainer to 30 minutes. You can always go back for another 30 if no one else is waiting.

Ask questions. When you're visiting a new gym, the settings on the machines may be different than what you are used to. If you aren't sure how to adjust the machine to your liking, ask for help--don't be embarrassed. It's better to get it right than to risk an injury by using the wrong setting.

If you are visiting New York for business or pleasure and you belong to a gym franchise, you may be able to use a local branch of your gym during your stay. To be sure, it's best to search online to find out whether there is a local franchise of your home gym. If there is, be sure to have a membership card or number on hand to squeeze in your usual workout while you're away from home.

New York gyms offer some of the most diverse and creative workout programs in the United States. You can find New York gyms to satisfy any workout needs. As you search through a directory of New York gyms, keep these categories in mind:

Athletic clubs or sports clubs: If you want a pool, squash court or basketball court, seek out these large facilities with a wide array of programs and equipment, even indoor climbing walls.

Gym or health club: Most facilities listed as gyms or health clubs offer strength training equipment, cardio machines and free weights. Most offer classes that may include aerobics, yoga, Pilates, cardio dance or kickboxing.

Yoga studios: A yoga studio focuses on, you guessed it, yoga, but the types of classes vary (studios usually offer beginner, intermediate and all levels classes). So check the studio's website or call if you want a specific type, such as Bikram, Hatha or power yoga.

Aerobics studio. Most aerobics studios offer classes for a range of activity levels and styles. Some classes will be cardio-heavy, while others use props such as steps, elastic bands or weighted bars to incorporate more strength and flexibility into the workout.

Gyms can be expensive and under-used memberships are rarely refundable. So it's important to decide what gym features matter to you most. Before you put down money on a pricey gym membership, keep these points in mind and you'll know how to pick a gym that suits you.

Location, location, location. Location may be the most important factor when choosing a gym. At the end of the day the best gym for you is the one that you will go to, and you are more likely to go to one that is convenient. So explore gyms near your home or workplace, rather than places that may be hard to get to in bad weather or traffic. Ideally, you'll select a gym that you can walk or bike to.

Price. You may not have the budget for the gym with the newest, up-to-the-minute equipment, but with a little ingenuity you can get just as thorough a workout with free weights and a few basic machines that you would get on a machine with a built-in TV and heart rate monitor.

Hours. Do you like to work out in the morning, the evening or both? Look for a gym with hours that fit your schedule.

Personal Trainers. Research the quality and cost of the gym's personal trainers.

Classes. If you enjoy group fitness, it is very important that your gym offer challenging classes that are led by qualified instructors. Also find out how crowded the classes tend to be. Remember, a fantastic class is of little use if you can only sometimes participate.

Staff. Do the staff members seem friendly and knowledgeable and willing to answer questions?

Bonuses. Some gyms offer one or more complimentary personal training sessions, fitness testing or even nutrition analysis when you sign up for a membership.

Extras. Do you need a shower, sauna or whirlpool? Are lockers free or do you need to rent them? What is the cell phone policy? Does the gym have child care?

The bottom line: You won't know until you ask, so don't hesitate to compare gyms and find the right fit for your fitness goals.

Like online dating for fitness fanatics, an online directory for trainers can help you find the perfect match. An online directory for trainers lets you search quickly and easily for fitness professionals in your area who can help you meet your fitness goals.

When you are seeking a trainer, use the same care that you would use in seeking a doctor, daycare provider or potential employee. Things to look for in a personal trainer include: certifications, specialties, and experience. And put some thought into your goals before checking a directory for trainers so you can search more efficiently.

Not everyone needs a personal trainer, but you might consider one if you are looking to:

1. Get out of your rut. Is your workout routine getting stale, but you're not sure how to change it up? A few sessions with a trainer will yield some different exercises to work the areas you want to focus on. Also, you may improve your overall fitness by paying attention to some areas that you have been neglecting.
2. Train for competition. Do you have a big race or other event coming up and you want to set a PR? A trainer can help you design a short-term program of conditioning and strength-building followed by a period of tapering so you are at your peak for your big event.
3. Recover from injury. It's tempting to try to return immediately to your pre-injury level of fitness. A trainer can help you design a strategic plan to build back up to your full pre-injury fitness level and keep you from doing too much too soon.